Define "chronic" masturbator.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
