I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
