What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
