Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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