last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
