he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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