She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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