I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
