Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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