After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
