Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
