I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
