another moral hangover. fuck.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
