note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
