hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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