i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
