You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
