you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
