Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
