No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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