I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This is classic penis vs brain.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
