hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
