singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
