Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
how can u be prego again
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
