My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
