...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
