it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
