Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
