My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I would fuck him just for his dog
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
