There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
