just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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