I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
