It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize