i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize