Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
