Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
