I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
