Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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