The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
