I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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