I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
