Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
