I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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