road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize