just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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