The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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