Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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