literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize
