All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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