We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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