mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
