Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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