I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
