I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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