It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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