There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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