He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
