The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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