Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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