am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
