Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
