Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My pussy is not your playground.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
