Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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