I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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