Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize