Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize